Nowadays, teenagers are in constant contact with one another through
platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc. The global epidemic of social
comparison on social media among teenage users has detrimental effects on the
self-esteem of the user.
Before delving into an explanation of what the above sentence means, I
would like to explain the concept of Social Comparison. It is the theory that
we determine our social and personal worth by comparing ourselves to others ().
By looking at a friend’s latest holiday pictures or party videos, teens are
bound to compare themselves with the poster. A study by German universities in
2013 found that viewing peoples’ profiles on Facebook triggered feelings of
envy and resentment (). In turn, these feelings cause self-reflection and self-valuation
of the follower. As teens are constantly viewing their friends’ profiles on social
media platforms, this is a daily struggle.
An ideal solution for the long run would be alternating perspectives of
the teens themselves. If teens were to determine their usage of social media
for positive purposes to learn more about people, foster their hobbies and
connect with friends, the problem would be solved. However, this is easier said
than done. Our society is one that allows and at times even encourages social
comparison. Judgment is a part of everyday life, something that “everyone” indulges
in. So a teen could ask, “Why should I stop comparing myself with someone else,
when they’re still comparing themselves to me?”. Raising awareness is essential
in the curbing the negative use of social media. Youngsters start using social
media on entering middle school with no supervision or knowledge of what
they’re getting themselves into. Social Media Education could inform potential
users of harm these platforms can cause if not used properly.
While the aforementioned seems foolproof, it could only work in a
permanent setting. Thus, the initial steps to solve the problem are not to
attack its root, but to chop off the weeds infecting it first. New social media
platforms could be created which encourage more of self-expression and less
self-valuation and judgment. Platforms independent of the social pressure of
likes and followers would allow individuals to express themselves freely and
view social media in a positive way. However, such platforms may not be popular
among those who are determined to use social media for social comparison
purposes.
Additionally, alternative methods of self-expression should be
encouraged amongst young kids and adolescents. Blogs and support groups should
be encouraged as means for such purposes to allow catharsis. A downside of this
could be that the settings may be too convoluted. Painting, music and dance
forms are creative methods of self-expression that could be cathartic as well
as boost self-esteem of teens.
Studies do show that there are positive effects of social media…focus
on those.
Conclusion:
Thesis: Although tangible efforts to reduce social comparison on social
media may temporarily reduce harsh effects on self-esteem and self-perception
of the user, only a change of how one is determined to use social media can
permanently eradicate the problem.
*Still need to structure, complete and add references!
1. What do you like the best about the ideas in this essay? Be specific.
ReplyDeleteI like how the essay explores one of the less talked about problems regarding social media. It is an issue that is abstract yet relevant. The essay is easy to follow. I especially like the solution on encouraging alternative methods of self-expression and think it is the most feasible one out of the three solutions you have mentioned.
2. Is there a clear, narrowly-focused problem presented in the essay? Is it contextualized in the intro? Is it expressed well in the thesis?
The essay is focused on the social comparison aspect of social media and how that will affect teenagers' self-esteem negatively. This is quite clear and narrowly-focused. The problem is contextualised. However, this essay seems to lack a thesis statement.
3. How well is the first solution described? How effectively is that solution evaluated?
The first solution seems to be about informing teenagers about the negative effects of social media if not used properly. It should be better expressed and evaluated. I do not get the phrase "It could only work in a permanent setting".
4. How well is the second solution described? Is it effectively connected to a positive outcome?
I feel that the second solution is hard to implement as the essence of social media is the social factor. It is a platform to connect with friends and meet more people. Therefore, I feel that social comparison may be an integral part of social media. To prevent social comparison from spiralling out of control, I guess it is better to inform teenagers to restrict their time on social media so that they will not be so affected by the constant influx of posts. This also helps to prevent them from over-sharing which reduces the need for comparison.
5. Are there any ideas in the essay that need further development? Which parts of the essay require further elaboration?
I think that the solutions need further development and elaboration.
6. Does the writer effectively use outside source material to illustrate the problem and/or the solutions?
There is sufficient outside source material to illustrate the problem. I think it is better to use outside source material to provide further support for the solutions.
7. What is your impression of the flow of the content?
It flows well from the introduction and contextualisation of problem to the solutions proposed and their evaluations.
8. Are there any ideas in the essay that are not clear or that you find confusing?
The first and second solutions are not clear and I find them confusing.
9. Are the citations used in this essay appropriate? Are the reporting verbs effectively used? Does the reference list adhere to the APA guidelines?
No reference given.
10. Can you give a couple specific suggestions for how the writer could most improve this essay?
See above!
Overall, this is a pretty cool problem to look into as I feel that people often overlook it for the larger social media problem. :)